Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Word for the Day... Hubris.

Basically hubris is overblown pride. It's thinking you know more, or for that matter just as much, as God. God with a big "G." The opposite of Hubris is humility. Do you remember that part in the Bible that says being Humble is a good thing? Remember that part that says Hubris is not?

Now that your vocabulary has been expanded, the next time you're driving down the road and see a bumper sticker that says the car will be unmanned when the rapture comes, or the next time you drive by a church and the marquee says something like, "The difference in me and God is that God never thinks he's me," then you'll know which word to use. Hint: It's not Humble.

It's not that the car in front of you won't be manned, or that God never thinks he's me, it's just that... Wow! How can anybody pretend to know what God is thinking?

Religious Advice: Always be cautious of anybody who is absolutely certain that he or she knows that God is thinking.

So I've decided to get a bumper sticker made: Stop quoting me on bumper stickers. God

Thursday, October 05, 2006

What I Think About While Driving

Not that driving has anything to do with it, but...

Is Sexually Inactive the opposite of Sexually Active?

OK... here's the problem. The problem with being a writer is keeping it in the present tense. I'm writing right now, so therefore I am a writer. I can still make that claim later on this afternoon, even though I'm not writing at the time. But what about tomorrow? Sure, I'm thinking about things I would like to write, but am I still a writer? I mean, at what point do I have to say I was a writer? 6 months? A year? 6 weeks from the next full moon?

Oh, yeah, you're saying that it's subjective. You're saying that as long as I think of myself as a writer then I am a writer. Right. You'll probably also be saying, "Dude, who does he think he's fooling? I mean, how can he possibly call himself a writer if he hasn't written anything since 1973, and then that was for a sophomore English class, and it really wasn't that good?"

But then, we're not really talking about writing here, are we? We're talking about something much more important: Sex. At what point does somebody say, "Dude, you haven't been laid since 1973, and then it really wasn't that good"?

But then, maybe it's best that it were to remain subjective. Imagine the stress, the anxiety, it would cause if you knew that there were only 17 days left until you became sexually inactive. And I'm certain women would have different standards then men. What do I mean would?

Monday, October 02, 2006

Royals Blow Another Season

KC had a chance at the coveted title: Worst Team in All the Major Leagues, but we blew it by winning the final three games of the season. Kansas City finished at 62-100 while Tampa Bay squeaked out a 61-101. All we had to do was lose one game to tie. Now there's a tie breaker no one would watch.

On the winning side, the Amazing Michael will now make his amazing prediction for the World Series. Actually, I made it about two weeks ago, which is even more amazing, considering my two picks weren't even certainties. Yep, you guessed it. San Diego will beat Detroit in 7 games. It should be good.

To all my friends out there who are Cardinal fans (both of you): Dudes! You're just kidding yourself. Live in the now! And by the way, stop bitching alreay about game 6 of the '85 World Series. There was a game 7. Of course, Cardinal fans convenient forget that game. Let's see, who was KC's most valuable player for that game? Oh, yeah. Joachin Andujar.