The End is Near
The following is an incomplete list of those things that undoubtedly prove that there is no hope for American culture, and maybe even the entire human race. Feel free to add to it. (A special thanks to Jenna.)
In no particular order:
1. The Koran for Dummies. No kidding. You can get a copy of your own at Barnes and Noble.
2. Tanning salons. People are willing to pay to go inside to do something that God will do for free outside. Yes, it may be quicker, but that says something in itself.
3. Cell phones. Why would you want to be constantly in touch with everybody, everywhere, at all times? Live in the now.
4. Buddha Salt and Pepper Shakers. Let's talk bad Karma.
5. It is estimated that Saddam Hussein killed 150,000 people. 150,000 won't even get him into the top 10.
6. 85% of all teenage girls list their hobby as shopping.
7. Tattoo makeup. Makeup by itself should be a sign.
8. Reality TV. Now there's an oxymoron.
9. Bottled water.
10. Dr. Phil. If you have to have someone tell you that dating your wife's sister and her mother while secretly wishing you were with her brother is messed up...dude, give it up.
11. Prom. How much money is poured into this one night of drinking and sex just boggles the mind. What is even more boggling is how preoccupied high school students (especially the girls) are with this one night. When your dress needs to match the interior of the limo, there's probably no hope whatsoever.
12. Blue Collar Comedy.
13. The whole "gay" thing. Why anybody should care who somebody's having sex with (unless it's your mother, brother, and sister) is beyond me. How inanimate objects can be gay is totally a mystery.
14. People still driving around with a "W" on their SUV.
15. Pet psychologists. How could you ever tell that you're cat's not nuts?
In no particular order:
1. The Koran for Dummies. No kidding. You can get a copy of your own at Barnes and Noble.
2. Tanning salons. People are willing to pay to go inside to do something that God will do for free outside. Yes, it may be quicker, but that says something in itself.
3. Cell phones. Why would you want to be constantly in touch with everybody, everywhere, at all times? Live in the now.
4. Buddha Salt and Pepper Shakers. Let's talk bad Karma.
5. It is estimated that Saddam Hussein killed 150,000 people. 150,000 won't even get him into the top 10.
6. 85% of all teenage girls list their hobby as shopping.
7. Tattoo makeup. Makeup by itself should be a sign.
8. Reality TV. Now there's an oxymoron.
9. Bottled water.
10. Dr. Phil. If you have to have someone tell you that dating your wife's sister and her mother while secretly wishing you were with her brother is messed up...dude, give it up.
11. Prom. How much money is poured into this one night of drinking and sex just boggles the mind. What is even more boggling is how preoccupied high school students (especially the girls) are with this one night. When your dress needs to match the interior of the limo, there's probably no hope whatsoever.
12. Blue Collar Comedy.
13. The whole "gay" thing. Why anybody should care who somebody's having sex with (unless it's your mother, brother, and sister) is beyond me. How inanimate objects can be gay is totally a mystery.
14. People still driving around with a "W" on their SUV.
15. Pet psychologists. How could you ever tell that you're cat's not nuts?
posted by The Holy Grail Press at 2:40 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home