Lawn Mower Epiphanies

Some of my best epiphanies come while mowing the lawn. Who knows why. Maybe it's that gnarly power thing, where you have control of a machine that sprays death nad mutilation all around it. Maybe it's all that noise drowning out all but the most basic thoughts. Maybe it's because I get more than gas from my garage before heading out to mow. Who knows.

So, there I was mowing and it occurred to me: The Muslims are no more violent than the Christians. Given their way, radical Christians would stone, hang, and behead with the best of 'em. And the moderate Christians wouldn't stop them. The liberal Christians would probably be some of those getting stoned. (Dude!) No. Not that kind of stoned. (Oh. Sorry.)

The key phrase is "given their way." What it comes down to is a difference in government. Your really nasty Islamic countries are theocracies. Church law (in this case, Shari) is civil law. In Christian countries, there's a difference between the two. Take away the difference, make sure your passport is up to date.

I'd suggest some place like, say, Tahiti. I used to say Tuvalu, but then I found out that Tuvalu is only 8 feet above sea level, and that's not an average. Talk about some people who are seriously worried about global warming. And if you were there, there might be a tend to get religious, seeming as the world sea level rises...what? About a half inch a year? You get the idea.

I suppose Tahiti might worry a bit about that, too, but from what I hear, Tahiti is so beautiful that nobody really cares about much of anything, anyway. That's why Tahiti would be good. The better your life, the less need of religion. As far as that goes, the less need for laws. The less need for government.

But at any rate, the lawn looks really nice.