Koppel Makes His Move

Late last year HGP reported that Ted Koppel was not only planning on taking over the United States, but that he was ultimately wanting to be God. The plot has thickened. Through extensive speculation and no research whatsoever, we now have it on good authority (our own) that it was Koppel who wrote Pope Benedictine's recent speech that so inflamed the Islamic community. We actually have no idea what was in the speech; that would have required reading. But we do know Koppel's motive. He wants the Islamofascists to kill the Pope.

Koppel, who reportedly (by us) has converted to Catholicism, would then be eligible to become the next pope: Pope Theodore the 1st.

Ted. Ted. Ted! Is there no stopping Koppel?

And, of course, once Ted becomes the Pope, he's just a puff of smoke away from being God. And to think, it all started on Nightline, or maybe a station somewhere before that.