Friday, February 10, 2006

The Senator Leonard K. Bullfinch Newsletter #10

Domestic Spying

Our government is in the midst of a conundrum (two Catholic female clerics playing percussion instruments simultaneously). There are undeniable forces of evil out there in the world who are actively seeking to destroy our way of life, and us as well. It is imperative that we use every tool possible to prevent these forces of evil from taking increasingly more American lives and undermining our way of life -- the freedom and liberty -- that so many Americans have so willingly laid down their lives to preserve.

Yet, obtaining the information that is vital in protecting our way of life can undermine the very freedom, the very way of life, that we’re trying to protect. I’m talking about the so-called domestic spying that has come to the forefront of national debate.

The President claims that he has the right, yea, the obligation, to keep us safe. Therefore he claims that he can legally spy on those citizens whom he deems a threat. Others, however, such as the ACLU, the entire Democratic party, anybody who’s thought about it in the least, and other damned liberals, claim that it is an illegal intrusion into our private lives. And, I must grudgingly admit, they seem to have a point.

There is, however, a simple solution. It is simply a case of semantics. We need do nothing more than change the name. It’s not spying; it’s monitoring. We are simply keeping a watchful eye on all of our citizens. Monitoring is no different than taking the census (which is perfectly, Constitutionally legal). But instead of doing it once every ten years, we do it constantly -- everywhere at every time to everybody.

If we tell you we’re going to do it, if everybody knows we’re doing it, and if we’re doing to everybody all the time, how can it be spying? Problem solved, and our country’s a safer place because of it.

Monitoring doesn’t mean that people are going to install cameras in your bedrooms or start listening in on your every conversation. The cameras are already there, and we’re already listening. But you have nothing to fear...do you?

Thank you,

The Honorable Senator Leonard K. Bullfinch

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