Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Prejudice...A Good Thing

As a child of the 'sixties, I grew up with changing attitudes toward prejudice. I remember my parents not allowing me to hang a poster of Bill Cosby in my bedroom, simply because he was Black (he was, wasn't he?). I always believed that prejudice was wrong, and I have fought many personal battles to right what I felt were the injustices of my work place, family members, and society in general. But after many years I have concluded that prejudice is actually a good thing. Consider the following:

Prejudice creates group cohesiveness. I mean, can white people truly refer to each other as "My brother!" No. It just won't work.

It is good for the economy. After all, affirmitive action would not exist if it weren't for prejudice. Think about how many jobs that prejudice has created, and not just from affirmitive action. Whenever one group is held down for too long, they always react violently. Rebuilding burnt out sections of town is a stimulus for economic growth.

Prejudice lowers crime. After all, there are groups that we should be legitimately afraid of, such as Islamic terrorists, violent, drug-crazed street gangs, and Belgians.

It gives us something to do. Indeed, are not idle minds the devil's workshop, or something like that?

And prejudice gives those with nothing else something to be proud of. Imagine having nothing else good in your life other than being white and having a penis. Prejudice could be the only reason many people just don't chuck it in and hang themselves with their Confederate flags.

What is bad, however, is undirected prejudice. Simply put, we need to be very specific about what we are prejudiced against. We don't want to spread ourselves too thin by trying to be prejudiced about too many things.

Therefore I propose that everybody choose one thing to be prejudiced about. However, that's it. You can only have one, so choose carefully. And since everybody has one specific prejudice, then no one will get upset at someone for being prejudiced, because, after all, everybody is prejudiced. And even if someone is prejudiced toward you, it's still OK. I mean, heck, it's got to be somebody, so why not you?

I, myself, have decided to be prejudiced toward the Swiss. I mean, why the heck not? Think about it. Everybody goes on about Swiss army knives, but what war has the Swiss ever won? Swiss chocolate? Give me a break. I say if it ain't Hershey's (American chocolate at its best) then the hell with it! Swiss clocks? What? Are you too good for a Timex? Unnumbered Swiss Bank Accounts? Didn't they ever learn to count? Their cheese has holes in it, for crying out loud! And the Swiss are so damned smug about always being neutral. I say it's time to stop! The hell with the Swiss!

Of course, I don't expect anyone else to choose the Swiss, but as long as I had to choose... well... OK then!

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