Key Word: Functional

I've decided to become a functional alcoholic. But then, isn't that everybody's goal in life? Be it alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, soap operas, or Jesus. Whatever it is that cushions you from reality. But, unfortunately, reality is still there waiting for us.

"When you're sober, your problems will still be there, and probably worse!" says that one person who pretends to care that you're slowly getting wasted.

And you reply, "But what if they're not (my problems, that is)? And even if they are, at least I got away from them for a while!"

Oh, Nancy! Where are you when we need you most?