McNurtle the Very Slow Snail

McNurtle was a snail. She lived with her parents in the more fashionable part of the garden, beneath the hydrangea bush that was next to the path that led to the goldfish pond. She had everything she needed to be a happy snail: tender leaves to eat, sidewalks to slime, and wonderful parents who loved her dearly. Yet, McNurtle wasn’t happy. McNurtle wasn't happy because she was a very slow snail. Now, degrees of slowness are not something that most snails ever notice, but McNurtle did. And it made her sad.

“I’m so slow,” she cried to her mother, “that if I wanted to go to the goldfish pond, I wouldn’t get there until I was a teenager.” Her father didn’t see a problem with that, but her mother was more understanding. “Just accept yourself as you are, dear,” she said.

McNurtle wanted to run to her room and cry, but since she couldn’t run, she just stayed right there and cried.

One day McNurtle finally decided to do something. She became determined that she was going to be the fastest snail in the whole world. So McNurtle climbed inside a box filled with Roman candles that the people had set out for the 4^th of July, even though it was against city regulations to set off fireworks inside the city limits, and she hid inside the biggest rocket of them all.

That night, the people lit rocket after rocket, saving the biggest until last. Finally it was McNurtle's turn. And, of course, McNurtle was blown to bits. That may not make much of a story, but for just a few seconds before she blew up, McNurtle was really going fast. She was going faster than any other snail in the entire world had ever gone. Which is just what she want. And it was enough.