The Koppel Konspiracy Revealed
After hours of painstaking speculation, and minutes of actual research, the truth has been discovered about the Koppel Konspiracy. Ted wants no less than the White House.
In 2008, the Democrat most likely to win the White House is none other than Madame Hilary. And regardless of how people may feel about the former First Lady, she stands a darn good chance of winning, simply because she's a woman. Whereas nothing could be better for right wing talk show hosts, nothing could be worse for the Empire envisioned by Carl Rove and his lackeys. Begin the Konspiracy.
First of all, Chaney has to go. Nobody likes him. Nobody wants him. I mean, for Christ's sake, the man's name is "Dick." Chaney resigns because of his health. He gets indicted. Or dies. Whichever. Bush then gets to appoint a new VP. Enter Condiliza Rice, or however you spell her name. Rice becomes the next GOP candidate for President. Of course, the GOP isn't stupid enough to think a black woman will beat anybody. After all, the Republicans invented racism. Here's where things get nasty.
Bush gets blown up by terrorists. Rice becomes president. She gets the sympathy vote (not to mention some pretty good publicity), and she easily beats Hilary. And why not blow up Bush? After all, what good is he going to do the GOP when there's no one handy to keep him from saying those stupid things he's bound to say? Besides, they'd save a lot of money on Secret Service.
But here's the catch. When Connie becomes Prez with only a few scant months left of Bush the Younger's 2nd term, she still gets to choose a VP to replace herself. Who else than Koppel? And why Koppel? Because Koppel is a respected white man (italics added for emphasis). And besides, you know Koppel has to have enough dirt on everybody necessary to make that happen. All it would take is a phone call. Maybe show a few pictures around. Ted probably has enough dirt on God to get himself elected as Pope, even if he's not Catholic (and our sources report that he just may be).
And once Koppel becomes the VP, he is just a heartbeat from the Presidency. There are plenty of stair cases in the White House. Accidents happen. Ah, Ted, how did you go so bad so quickly?
In 2008, the Democrat most likely to win the White House is none other than Madame Hilary. And regardless of how people may feel about the former First Lady, she stands a darn good chance of winning, simply because she's a woman. Whereas nothing could be better for right wing talk show hosts, nothing could be worse for the Empire envisioned by Carl Rove and his lackeys. Begin the Konspiracy.
First of all, Chaney has to go. Nobody likes him. Nobody wants him. I mean, for Christ's sake, the man's name is "Dick." Chaney resigns because of his health. He gets indicted. Or dies. Whichever. Bush then gets to appoint a new VP. Enter Condiliza Rice, or however you spell her name. Rice becomes the next GOP candidate for President. Of course, the GOP isn't stupid enough to think a black woman will beat anybody. After all, the Republicans invented racism. Here's where things get nasty.
Bush gets blown up by terrorists. Rice becomes president. She gets the sympathy vote (not to mention some pretty good publicity), and she easily beats Hilary. And why not blow up Bush? After all, what good is he going to do the GOP when there's no one handy to keep him from saying those stupid things he's bound to say? Besides, they'd save a lot of money on Secret Service.
But here's the catch. When Connie becomes Prez with only a few scant months left of Bush the Younger's 2nd term, she still gets to choose a VP to replace herself. Who else than Koppel? And why Koppel? Because Koppel is a respected white man (italics added for emphasis). And besides, you know Koppel has to have enough dirt on everybody necessary to make that happen. All it would take is a phone call. Maybe show a few pictures around. Ted probably has enough dirt on God to get himself elected as Pope, even if he's not Catholic (and our sources report that he just may be).
And once Koppel becomes the VP, he is just a heartbeat from the Presidency. There are plenty of stair cases in the White House. Accidents happen. Ah, Ted, how did you go so bad so quickly?
posted by The Holy Grail Press at 9:48 AM
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