Monday, November 13, 2006

And While We're on the Subject...

It's one of the curses of having a background in linguistics. When I drive down the road and I see bumper stickers... or church marquees... or whatever... I'm more inclined to ask, "What the hell?" For instance...

I've seen several billboards lately that say, "Embryos are babies." In these instances, white babies, but I digress. I realize what these people are trying to convey, their anti-choice, let a white, male judge decide which women should and should not get an abortion. But that's not my point. At least, not tonight. Begging to differ... Embryos are not babies. That's why they're called an embryo. If Embryos were babies, people would look at your newborn and say, "Oh, what a cute embryo!" The word embryo exists to denote a life form that cannot live outside the uterus. And if they can, hey! then they're babies.

While on that subject, I saw a license plate today that said, "Choose Life." What does it take to get a plate like that created? You know, they're like the ones that denote you're an alum, or have a purple heart, or that you're opposed to child abuse. Nothing wrong with any of those. But do you suppose the state would allow ones that say, "Choose abortion"? Or maybe "Have a choice"?

Have you notice the restaurants around town that offer a 10% discount on Sundays if you bring in your church bulletins? If you're an atheist, would they still give you a 10% discount if you brought in a blank piece of paper?

Speaking of church, if you blew up a Catholic church on a Sunday morning, would you have to use a weapon of mass destruction?

I was driving down Republic tonight, and I noticed Wesley United Methodist Church has a Kid's Club. Wow. That club must really suck. I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if you were that one kid, but how would you like to be all the other kids who can't join? Maybe someone ought to tell the pastor the difference between a plural possessive and a singular possessive. Or maybe not.

Meanwhile, down the street from Wesley, there is a church that has a sign out front that says, "We have a place for you." That's all I need. A bunch of evangelicals putting me in my place.

And finally, Nixa High School is putting on Joseph's Technicolour Dream Coat. Wow. Maybe somebody ought to explain the separation of church and state.

2 Comments:

Blogger The Lorax said...

Here here.

10:34 PM  
Blogger Camera Obscura said...

Ah, another Lynne Truss fan, I'll bet. I've been known to take my grocery list pen and scribble through unnecessary apostrophes at the store, right on top of the clear plastic sleeves they slip the signs into, ruining them. Heh.

I think I'd have to move back home and marry you, if it weren't for:

a) My spouse

b) Your spouse

c) The fact that I ran mentally screaming from that town at 18 and swore never to live there again. Hell, I spent three summers in an un-air-conditioned apartment in Rolla to avoid it.

8:53 AM  

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