I'm Not Making This Up

(or, Charley, You'er in Trouble)

So I'm sitting around last night and the phone rings, as it's wont to do, especially with the mid-term elections fast approaching. And on the other end of the phone was a young man who wanted to speak with me, but only because I'm a registered voter.

He identified himself as a caller for Charley Denison, who's running for reelection for something or the other -- Charley, not the guy who called me. After my phone call with Charley's worker, I only have one question for Mr. Denison: How the hell did you ever get elected the first time?

So this young man asks me if I were planning on vothing for Denison, and I asked him, "Does Charley support George W. Bush?" And the young man said, "I'm not sure. Mr. Denison is a Democrat, if that answers your question." To which I replied, "No. Just because he's a Democrat doesn't mean he doesn't support Bush." The young man countered, "I don't know. I don't know any of his personal beliefs." I should've stopped there, but it was too easy. Undaunted, I pursued my line of questioning. I asked, "Does Mr. Denison support the war in Iraq?" Once again he answered that he didn't know. In fact, he didn't know any of Mr. Denison's "personal beliefs." So I just straight out asked him if he were planning on voting for Mr. Denison. To which he softly answered (and, no, I'm not making this up): "No. I'm sorry." Then he mumbled something that could've been good night, or "I'm going to find a rope, now." After which he hung up.

Wow. This whole campaigning process is so enlightening. I wish more people would call. You know, usually I vote Democrat, but in Mr. Denison's case, I believe I'll make an exception. Wow. Just Wow.