All-Purpose Prayers
Having been raised Catholic, I was raised on many all-purpose prayers: The Act of Contrition, Hail Mary, Our Father, Your Uncle... There's a guano load of them. So, in that tradition, I've come up with some all-purpose prayers of my own. Only mine are better, because they're shorter.
1. The Sportsman Prayer -- Oh Lord, please don't let me look stupid. Amen.
2. The Handyman's Prayer -- Oh Lord, please forgive me for the cursing I am about to do.
Actually, the Handyman's Prayer could work for all sorts of occasions. Please forgive me for the stripper I'm about to give a dollar to. Please forgive me for the stoplight I'm about to run. Please forgive me for the taxes I'm about to cheat on...Oh, wait, that's not a sin.
1. The Sportsman Prayer -- Oh Lord, please don't let me look stupid. Amen.
2. The Handyman's Prayer -- Oh Lord, please forgive me for the cursing I am about to do.
Actually, the Handyman's Prayer could work for all sorts of occasions. Please forgive me for the stripper I'm about to give a dollar to. Please forgive me for the stoplight I'm about to run. Please forgive me for the taxes I'm about to cheat on...Oh, wait, that's not a sin.
posted by The Holy Grail Press at 5:05 PM
2 Comments:
Michael,
That is a poem just waiting to be written. It's not everyday that a poem just falls from grace, so I suggest you write that puppy out.
Actually, it IS a sin to cheat on your taxes.
Luke 20:25 -- And he said unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's.
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