Let God Decide

I was watching a baseball game the other night, and one of the players crossed himself before he took his at bat. This is something I've seen ball players doing all my life. Some will even kiss their cross before stepping into the box. But this time it got me to thinking. Do major league baseball players who cross themselves before each at bat have a higer batting average than those who do not? Or football players who take a prayerful knee after a touchdown score more often than their chicken strutting counterparts?

What a great way to prove the power of prayer! With all the other ridiculous stats that are kept, somebody's bound to know. I challenge you to do the research, because I sure as hell don't want to do it myself. And while you're at it, do Protestants do better than Catholics? We already know that no Jewish team would stand a chance against the Christian Dream Team, but what about the Islamic world? Could they put together the mother of all teams to bring the Devil Americans finally to their knees?

It seems like such a simple way to decide all of our problems, and their are many of you out there who are willing to dismiss it as a joke. But it just could work. We'll let the Islamic countries of the world pick any Olympic sport they'd like -- curling, down hill skiing, platform diving -- their choice. Then we'll each (the Christians and the Muslims) put together a dream team. Winner take all. Any religion in the world is invited to join. We'll call it the All-Religious Olympics. India, Bhutan, Pakistan, Israel, Indonesia, Jesus Land (formerly the United States of America). Bring it on! Because the true God -- he, she, it, or they -- God, Jesus, Allah, Buddah, Krshna, or Ahura Mazda -- would not let his chosen country lose.

And what the hell, even if we did lose, we still have nuclear weapons.