Elvis' Last Supper
OK, I'm serious this time. Since such a painting apparently does not already exist, I'm going to paint it. Yup. Stretch out the velvet and get me the brushes. Admittedly, my artistic talent is not the greatest, but hey, it's on black velvet. How good do you need to be?
Here's the problem. Who would be there? Elvis, of course. Then there has to be Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Bob Marley, Keith Moon, and John Lennon. But who else?
Topping the list of hopefuls is Freddie Mercury, followed closely by Sid Vicious (though I'm not sure anybody else would want him there). In no particular order after that are Ronny Van Zant, George Harrison (yeah, I know, there's already one Beatle), Johnny Cash (I like him, he had the drug thing goin', but wrong crowd), Buddy Holly (would he really want to be there?), John Entwhistle (yeah, like, Harrison, we've already got Moon), Tu Pac, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and Sonny Bono (I like him because he's the only one up there killed by a tree). The obvious problem is they can't all be there. Who stays? Who goes?
Who have I forgotten? I'd love to get some more women up there. Women, though, don't seem to be as stupid as the guys. They live longer. I mean, should I put Patsy Cline up there just because she's a woman? She doesn't really fit the profile, if you know what I mean.
And then there's the whole problem of who sits by who (or whom, for those grammarians out there who need to just be quiet--and don't mention split infinitives, either). Would Morrison really want to sit by Cobain? Would Marley know who he was sitting next to? Would he care?
Luckily, I've already figured out what's on the menu. Fried chicken (the Colonel, of course) and big ol' jelly donuts.
Be part of history. Throw in some suggestions. Some day, you may be in Paris at that museum that's not spelled anywhere near how it's pronounced, and you can say to your mistress (who else would you be with in Paris), "Dude! Having Dale Evans there was my idea!" (She would have to be a stoner to dress that way.)
Here's the problem. Who would be there? Elvis, of course. Then there has to be Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Bob Marley, Keith Moon, and John Lennon. But who else?
Topping the list of hopefuls is Freddie Mercury, followed closely by Sid Vicious (though I'm not sure anybody else would want him there). In no particular order after that are Ronny Van Zant, George Harrison (yeah, I know, there's already one Beatle), Johnny Cash (I like him, he had the drug thing goin', but wrong crowd), Buddy Holly (would he really want to be there?), John Entwhistle (yeah, like, Harrison, we've already got Moon), Tu Pac, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and Sonny Bono (I like him because he's the only one up there killed by a tree). The obvious problem is they can't all be there. Who stays? Who goes?
Who have I forgotten? I'd love to get some more women up there. Women, though, don't seem to be as stupid as the guys. They live longer. I mean, should I put Patsy Cline up there just because she's a woman? She doesn't really fit the profile, if you know what I mean.
And then there's the whole problem of who sits by who (or whom, for those grammarians out there who need to just be quiet--and don't mention split infinitives, either). Would Morrison really want to sit by Cobain? Would Marley know who he was sitting next to? Would he care?
Luckily, I've already figured out what's on the menu. Fried chicken (the Colonel, of course) and big ol' jelly donuts.
Be part of history. Throw in some suggestions. Some day, you may be in Paris at that museum that's not spelled anywhere near how it's pronounced, and you can say to your mistress (who else would you be with in Paris), "Dude! Having Dale Evans there was my idea!" (She would have to be a stoner to dress that way.)
posted by The Holy Grail Press at 12:04 PM
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