The Senator Leonard K. Bullfinch Newsletter #9
Finance Reform
Scandal has rocked our government. Elected officials from the county dog catcher maybe all the way to the President are being paid off, accepting illegal money, in the hope that it will influence them. And it does. Lobbyists are running amok across our land, offering money and free vacations and, most importantly, votes to those officials who can change the laws to favor their companies and causes.
All of which has led to a cry of reform. And I agree. We need to completely eliminate all finance laws. That and split infinitives. Fragmented sentences, too.
After all, our country is based on capitalism. It was founded on the principle that ultimately anything can be purchased. Why should lawmakers be any different? Why shouldn’t hard work -- the hard work it takes to inherit a boat load of money and the hard work it takes to hire a lobbyist -- be rewarded? This is the entrepreneuristic spirit that has made our country great.
And then, what kind of message are we sending the children? We encourage them to work hard, save their money, and for what? How can we truthfully tell our children that thrift is worthwhile if they can’t ultimately buy off their teachers or hire someone to get rid of their principal?
And who would argue that the presidency, the highest office in this country, is based on merit? We don’t care who can do the job the best. We only care who can sell themselves the best. And that takes money. We could save a lot of time and money if we just cut to the chase and auctioned off all public offices. The government would be out nothing for elections, all profits could go to the national treasure, and people would be reassured of what they’ve known all along – that their votes aren’t worth doodly squat. Because, after all, we would end up with exactly the same people in office but be spared a whole lot of insidious commercials and having to pretend that we’re truly concerned with debates.
Ultimately it comes down to who has money anyway. Rich children will go to better schools, get a better education, land better jobs, and have better lives. It only goes to follow that they should have better representatives. If you agree, let your voice be heard. Send cash.
Thank you,
The Honorable Leonard K. Bullfinch
Scandal has rocked our government. Elected officials from the county dog catcher maybe all the way to the President are being paid off, accepting illegal money, in the hope that it will influence them. And it does. Lobbyists are running amok across our land, offering money and free vacations and, most importantly, votes to those officials who can change the laws to favor their companies and causes.
All of which has led to a cry of reform. And I agree. We need to completely eliminate all finance laws. That and split infinitives. Fragmented sentences, too.
After all, our country is based on capitalism. It was founded on the principle that ultimately anything can be purchased. Why should lawmakers be any different? Why shouldn’t hard work -- the hard work it takes to inherit a boat load of money and the hard work it takes to hire a lobbyist -- be rewarded? This is the entrepreneuristic spirit that has made our country great.
And then, what kind of message are we sending the children? We encourage them to work hard, save their money, and for what? How can we truthfully tell our children that thrift is worthwhile if they can’t ultimately buy off their teachers or hire someone to get rid of their principal?
And who would argue that the presidency, the highest office in this country, is based on merit? We don’t care who can do the job the best. We only care who can sell themselves the best. And that takes money. We could save a lot of time and money if we just cut to the chase and auctioned off all public offices. The government would be out nothing for elections, all profits could go to the national treasure, and people would be reassured of what they’ve known all along – that their votes aren’t worth doodly squat. Because, after all, we would end up with exactly the same people in office but be spared a whole lot of insidious commercials and having to pretend that we’re truly concerned with debates.
Ultimately it comes down to who has money anyway. Rich children will go to better schools, get a better education, land better jobs, and have better lives. It only goes to follow that they should have better representatives. If you agree, let your voice be heard. Send cash.
Thank you,
The Honorable Leonard K. Bullfinch
posted by The Holy Grail Press at 2:21 PM
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