Jose the Duck

Jose was a duck, a drake mallard who lived in a pond just outside of Albany, New York, with his mother, father, and his seven brothers and six sisters, all of whom lived happily together. Except for Jose. Jose was severely depressed, all because he hated being a duck. Well, it wasn’t so much being a duck, but everything that went with being a duck, like the water and the flying and the quacking. In fact, it was the quacking that bothered him the most. It was quack, quack, quack, quack all the time. Enough to give you a headache if you didn’t already have one from the sun’s constant glare on the water.
So one day Jose said to his mother that he was sick and tired of being a duck. And his mother, being the kind lady that she was, asked, “Well, what are you going to do then?” And Jose answered, “I’ve decided to move to the country and join a chicken commune. To be one with the chickens. To live a chicken way of life. And to be at peace with the chicken-ness of all things.” So he did.
He moved to a chicken farm just outside of Monett, Missouri, where he was welcomed by his wingless brethren, and where he lived a peaceful way of life right up to the day he was sent to the poultry processing plant, which I guess makes for a pretty lousy story, but life’s just that way sometimes.