The Happy Conservative Song

Jesus wants me to drive an SUV,
to fly my flag and keep America free.
To spend more than I can afford
and do it all in the name of the Lord.
Jesus wants me to drive an SUV.

Jesus wants me to join the GOP.
That my friends will keep America free.
Come on! Get on the Conservative Bus
and hate everybody who isn’t us.
Jesus wants me to join the GOP.

Jesus wants me to tell you what to believe.
Jesus wants me to tell you what you need.
There’s no need to think for youself
When you can get it all from someone else.
Jesus wants you to put your trust in me.

Jesus wants me to drive an SUV,
Haul around my friends from the GOP.
Then everybody can get in the line,
Be a part of the universal mind.
That’s how we can keep America free!


Remember, folks, if Jesus didn’t want us to waste gas He never would have put it in the ground to begin with.